Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Family (The Good)

So, this is going to be the beginning of me baring my soul for the readers of my blog, so you better enjoy it while it lasts!

The Good: Adolescence is a time where most children strive to cut the strings away from their families and start making their own decisions and seeking autonomy. Yet, I never really was into autonomy. Indeed, while some people could not stand to be in the same room with their parent, I was driven to spending more time with them. So, when I realized I was gay in the sixth grade, one might think that I would have been able to tell them easily. Well, it was not easy. In fact, I did not tell them at all. Not in the sixth, seventh, or eighth, not in high school, and not in the first few years of my college. Why? Because even though my bond with my family was strong, there was still a part of me that feared their rejection. Their utter disdain at the thought of me falling in love with a man instead of a woman, their disappointment that I would not have children that are my own flesh and blood, and their objections to me ever being married to that man that I loved. Thus, to spite the whispers that went around town after my big school coming out in the eighth grade, my brother asking me, and my mother telling me that she was okay with gay people, I continued to deny who I was because it gave me comfort. Yet, I realized that I was never going to truely be open to finding a man to love until I embraced who I was fully, and that included telling my family that I was gay. After getting up all the courage I could muster, I called my mom to finally tell her. Well, she got the jump on me, asking me about my love life for the first time in my whole life. Although I still was a bit nervous, I told her about a guy that I had been seeing. My mom took the news wonderfully, only happy that I was happy. So, I did all that worrying for nothing. Advice: Maybe you are too?

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